more

One of the hardest parts of losing someone is that there is no more of them. No more memories to form. No more stories to make. In those first months after losing him, all I wanted was “more, more, more.” People sharing their stories of him helped, felt like little bits of more. Finding old cards, wearing his old clothes, felt like a little more. This week I went through boxes of old photos, most of which I don’t ever remember seeing before. Seeing his face and expressions in photos I haven’t already memorized felt so surreal. Felt like seeing him again, just the tiniest bit. Felt like more.