invisible goodbyes

There you are, little face, 

Beaming with your first-tooth smile 

I kiss your cheeks, and feel a pang of sorrow. 

I didn’t know yesterday that I was saying goodbye to my toothless baby. 

These invisible goodbyes break my heart a little 

They signal seasons I can never have back 

No matter how much I loved them 

I won’t know when it’s your last day before you crawl all over the house. 

I won’t know when it’s your last night to wake and nurse with me. 

I won’t know when it’s the last time I blow buzzers on your belly to make you giggle. 

Forward, forward, you keep growing. 

I just wish I knew the lasts, to say goodbye. 

But then again, maybe it’s best not knowing. Best to embrace the moments, each one, not just the last one. 

So I’ll kiss your cheeks a thousand times today, my little one-toothed baby.