parts of me

I have a lovely therapist I see semi-regularly. In our last meeting, we were talking about how I want to enjoy life more, spend less time stressed, and spend more time feeling present and content. As much as I absolutely loving mothering, I have recognized that I've become so completely focused on this one part of my life that I have neglected many of the parts of me that used to be in the foreground. And while parts of ourselves can absolutely take turns being in the forefront and in the background, I've sensed that things were off balance (throwback, for those who know!). 

I shared with her that in the season of life before becoming a parent/stepparent, I identified three important parts of myself, and labeled them "the Jedi," "the monk," and "the academic." Specifically Rey, the Jedi, of course. She emailed me later to say she ordered a Rey figure to add to her play therapy collection of figures. :) And I've been spending the time since our conversation thinking about what those parts mean to me, and how I can re-engage them. 

For the Jedi, I feel connection to and desire for the purposefulness, courage, and focus of a Jedi, yet also the balance and confidence. And additionally, the agility and physicality of a Jedi - or how I feel when I "feel like a Jedi" - matters a lot to me. A lot of physical activities I love - slacklining, tai chi, bouldering, staff spinning, tree climbing, paddleboarding - have elements of this "Jedi" feeling. So to try to encourage this part of myself, I've decided to take myself bouldering more regularly, and as the good weather comes, to keep learning more staff spinning! 

For the monk, to me this represents the part of myself that thrives in silence and solitude, that loses oneself in scripture and research, that listens for the still, small voice, and that explores the inner world. To try to encourage this part of myself, I'm going to start trying to get up a little earlier so I can start my day with journaling, reflection, and finding ways to engage scripture. 

And finally, the academic, which is fairly self-explanatory! To encourage this part, I became a paid member of SBL (the Society of Biblical Literature) and am going to regularly read just a bit of what's being written about, and have started a document to just brainstorm and do low-level research on topics that interest me!

I'm also keeping my eyes open for other parts that are tucked away, and encouraging the parts that are fully engaged already, like the mothering and homemaking parts of me. 

It's going to be a wonderful next season of life!