all this time

Yesterday morning, November 23rd, I got up out of bed in my dorm room at Dandelion School, packed up, and headed to the airport. At 12:00 noon, I took off. After hours in the plane, I watched an incredible sunset over Russia. Through the night, I watched the stars shining brighter than they ever do in Beijing, I gazed down at city lights in little clumps across expansive tundras, and I caught a glimpse of green in the sky that I'd like to say was the northern lights. Then, the sun started to rise.

Little by little, the atmosphere around me changed from pitch black to dimly lit clouds miles below. Then, a spark of color. I was listening to shuffled music, and as the brilliant oranges and yellows lit the sky, "I See the Light" started playing. Magical!

But it kept growing and growing. The sky higher above was a deep navy, and the orange coupled with it to take my breath away. As flew over the border into the United States, my mouth was agape at the colors. And as the Seattle area peeked over the horizon, bordered by mountains, I couldn't help but think of all the mountains God has brought me through. The colors of the sky were like a love letter, a huge embrace, a display of affection from my Best Friend that amazed me. From the big mountains years ago, to ones that I'm still climbing in China, I could all of a sudden see so clearly from that airplane how He makes them so beautiful. I remembered the brokenness that He has turned into beauty. Mainly, I thought of the experience of losing a Jesus-follower and friend like Jimmy, and how somehow God has placed me in exactly that place now, where my heart is loving those very same people. I've always known He's been with me through it all, but from that airplane, I was hit with the bird's eye perspective of my whole journey with Him. Through highs and lows, rocky cliffs and flower-covered meadows, He has been my Guide and Provider. And as I thought this, my music started playing this song by Britt Nicole.

"All this time,
from the first tear cried,
to today's sunrise,
and every single moment between,
You were there,
You were always there,
it was You and I,
You've been walking with me all this time."

I cried. And smiled as wide as I could. He could stop showing His love to me like this, but He doesn't. And He won't.

Whatever you're going through, whatever mountain you're climbing, don't try to climb it alone. From someone who has climbed many mountains and who has many more to climb, know that He is my Father, my Jesus, my Holy Spirit, and He sustains you. He reminds you that every step makes you stronger. He points for you to look out at the view, to see how far you've come.

Sometimes on the mountains, it is dark. It seems pitch black all around us. From someone who has been in the dark, let me remind you that He is there with you, and that the sunrise coming.

He has been walking with us all this time.