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I'm back at Trinity Western University! I've been counting the days. I've been so so eager to see my beloved people. But as the days drew closer, I started to realize how hard it was going to be to leave home. Or most of all, to say goodbye to Mom.
Pulling into campus today, I experienced some of the strongest mix of emotions I've ever felt. So much excitement that there were butterflies in my stomach, but so much sorrow that there were tears in my eyes. I've never felt the word "bittersweet" with my entire being like I did today.
The tears didn't really stop from the time I arrived until after Mom had left. Even greeting my many friends and acquaintances, my voice was shaky and eyes brimming as we conducted just small talk. The hugs of people who know what's going on meant so much. The people with tears in their eyes for me meant so much. The people who were waiting so eagerly for us meant so much.
It's strange how sometimes good and bad don't cancel each other out, how joy and sadness can both coexist. I know that's what the whole idea of "bittersweet" means... but wow, bittersweet is strange.
At dinner with my group of fellow RAs (Resident Assistant), there was a card on the table asking our group to share an adjective describing how we felt spiritually coming into the year. Right away, the answer I felt was close. Even with all the hard stuff, I so know He is with me. I know I will talk it all through with Jesus. I know the Spirit is all around me, soaking up everything I'm missing, able to give me what I need.
I know that so many of you have prayed that I would feel Jesus, feel the Father close. Thank you for those prayers; they have been answered.
I'm exhausted in every way going to bed tonight, and I do still dearly value your prayers, especially as I prepare to welcome a whole dorm of incoming students on Saturday, and as my family back home starts to try to find a new "normal" for this fall.
But we know Jesus is close. Praise Him.
Pulling into campus today, I experienced some of the strongest mix of emotions I've ever felt. So much excitement that there were butterflies in my stomach, but so much sorrow that there were tears in my eyes. I've never felt the word "bittersweet" with my entire being like I did today.
The tears didn't really stop from the time I arrived until after Mom had left. Even greeting my many friends and acquaintances, my voice was shaky and eyes brimming as we conducted just small talk. The hugs of people who know what's going on meant so much. The people with tears in their eyes for me meant so much. The people who were waiting so eagerly for us meant so much.
It's strange how sometimes good and bad don't cancel each other out, how joy and sadness can both coexist. I know that's what the whole idea of "bittersweet" means... but wow, bittersweet is strange.
At dinner with my group of fellow RAs (Resident Assistant), there was a card on the table asking our group to share an adjective describing how we felt spiritually coming into the year. Right away, the answer I felt was close. Even with all the hard stuff, I so know He is with me. I know I will talk it all through with Jesus. I know the Spirit is all around me, soaking up everything I'm missing, able to give me what I need.
I know that so many of you have prayed that I would feel Jesus, feel the Father close. Thank you for those prayers; they have been answered.
I'm exhausted in every way going to bed tonight, and I do still dearly value your prayers, especially as I prepare to welcome a whole dorm of incoming students on Saturday, and as my family back home starts to try to find a new "normal" for this fall.
But we know Jesus is close. Praise Him.
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