surprises

I went outside to meet with Jesus today on a bench by the pond. 

I'm reading through the gospel of Mark a chapter at a time, in chapter 4 today. It's a chapter of Jesus telling parable after parable, and then ends with the story of Jesus calming a storm on the Sea of Galilee. The chapter ends with the disciples asking, "Who is this, that even the winds and the seas obey him?" It struck me that after a chapter's worth of teaching, no miracle stories, just parables, perhaps the disciples had started to become comfortable with this teacher-Jesus, this Rabbi who tells meaningful stories about the kingdom of God and not a lot more. Their faith was small, they didn't even ask him to calm the storm, they just woke him up from his nap to beg for help in keeping the boat afloat. He surprised them. He was more than who they thought He was. 

I asked Holy Spirit why that had stood out to me in the story I read today. I felt like he asked me, "Are you ready for surprises?" 

And my quick, unhesitating response was, "Yes." 

It surprised me, actually, because I've felt that I'm becoming more and more cautious, even timid, compared to who I used to be. But maybe that's not actually true. I felt that Holy Spirit wanted to remind me that Jesus is still more than I think He is. I will still be surprised by Him. Not every surprise is wanted or understood in the moment. But I want to know who Jesus is. 

I want His surprises.  

And the wind began to blow furiously; "wind," that word that means "Spirit" as well in both Hebrew and Greek. I looked up and saw Him everywhere. Yellow, orange, and red leaves were flying through the sky with the Canadian geese. The water was rippling and carrying leaves like tiny ships. The sun was shining and warming my arms and face as the wind whipped my hair. And I smiled, smiled so big at the beauty around me. And then I laughed at myself, and then I was surprised by joy. Surprised by a sudden simple happiness that wasn't ignorant of the past, but noticed the present. 

And then without realizing it, I was pulling out my little prayer notebook where I keep specific requests written until they are answered. I hadn't written anything since early September; I hadn't felt the faith. But I did today. I was surprised by faith, surprised by how suddenly I remembered that God is faithful, and I need to faithfully ask. 

Jesus continues to surprise me, and I'm on the look-out to know him more. I, like the disciples, want to find myself asking, "Who is this?"