never gonna let you down

Standing in church, everyone's singing, "You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down."


What? I can't sing that.


I mean, I think I should, I think I'm supposed to.


But Jesus, really? It feels like I've been let down.


It feels like left and right are unanswered prayers.


It feels like plan B.


What about this? What about that? What about her? What about them?


Never gonna let me down?


This all feels like a giant let-down.



He is holding me gently. I'm a child in His arms, my scrawny legs wrapped around His waist, face-to-face. 



I know, I know, I have to surrender.


But, are you doing anything?


Look, do you have her? She needs you!



Yes. 


He is with her too. He picks her up. 


He doesn't look away from my face. 


He smiles. 


Like He's just happy to be holding me.





I pound on his chest.


No, no, no!


I know I have to trust you, I know I can't take control.


But I don't know if you're really enough.


Enough for me, enough for them.


Someone has to do something.


I have to go help! Let me down!




I wriggle and squirm to get down and run off. 


He holds me firm. 


No, He says. 


I'm never gonna let you down. 





Oh, is that what you meant?