the first apostle

This week, I was honored to be able to share a bit about Mary Magdalene at TWU's women's ministry. I took a bit of my narrative post from April about Mary, and then shared more about her and the implications of her story afterward. 

Dead.

It is Mary’s waking thought that Sunday morning. Why does it never stop?
Flashbacks to the flogging, the cross, the mutilated body of Jesus lifeless.  His body. One moment it had been alive. Agonizing. Writhing. Screaming to God. Oh God - That body... the same one that she had sat and talked with on Thursday. But she would never forget how she stared at it lying in the tomb. No breaths. Ah - She doesn't want to think about it anymore. She closes her eyes again - what is the point of living? She didn't want to wake up to this, she didn't want to wake up at all.

It is still dark. She can hear Salome gathering up the spices and linens. Oh, life will be so long without Him. Every day like this? Will every day be a fog?

 The two women start off toward the tomb, just outside the city. They pass the room where the disciples are sleeping; Mary sees a candle flickering. She wonders if Peter slept at all.They are getting close.

How could he be dead?

 They turn the corner and duck beneath the branches of the trees outside the tomb.Salome cries, “Oh no, look!" 

The blackness of the inside of the tomb is gaping toward them in the early morning dawn; the entrance stone rolled off to the side. Oh no - what had happened? Mary feels her throat tighten, unprepared for any more heartbreak. She runs into the tomb before she can think anything else. It is empty.

No - where is his body?His precious body?Stolen?By who?The Romans?The religious leaders?Why? He was dead! Why? Why? Why?

Mary leaves the lamp, leaves Salome, and runs. She must get Peter and John.Through the door. Into the house. Up the stairs. "Peter!" She whispers loudly, out of breath. He is awake, sitting by the candle, staring at the door, eyes wide. John is next to him, awoken by the feet coming up the stairs. Peter scrambles to his feet. "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they've put him!" 

"What?!" John responds, on his feet. They rush to the door; Mary steps aside to let them pass as they run to the tomb. She runs after them. 

Where is he?! No, please no. Just leave him be. Let us anoint him and bury it all in peace.

She stumbles to the tomb; Salome is gone. Peter and John are inside, stepping back out as she arrives. 

"He's... gone." John is dumbfounded. 

"No! How could they!" Peter's anger flares. "Why can't they just leave him alone?! He's dead already!" Peter runs away. 

John stands silently. Tears run down his face. His face recoils in pain. He walks away.

Mary leans into the stone wall and cries. Sobs. Why has this all happened? Why more? Wasn't it already enough? She weeps in horror at the thought of what may have happened to him. Wasn't it already enough?

The sun is up. Why? The sunshine is a cruel joke. 

She sobs. 

She can't think. 

Just Why? Why? Why? 

How long has she been here?

She walks to the entrance, her vision blurred by tears. She lets the tears fall; what is there to see anyway?

 Leaves crunch behind her, she turns, startled. A man has come up to the tomb and she quickly looks down, the custom for a woman and an unknown man. He must be the gardener of this place. "Woman," says the man, "Why are you weeping? Who are you looking for?" 

Maybe he knows. Maybe there was a mistake when they had placed Jesus here, and maybe this was the wrong tomb, and so they moved his body elsewhere."Sir," she says, humbly and catching her breath, "If you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will take him away!"

 Please, God, she prays. I just want him back.

I just want him back. 

 "Mary."

What? She looks up.

....

Wha...

"Rabboni?"

 He's smiling. 

Jesus. Alive. Smiling.

She cries aloud. There are no more words. She falls into his arms; he is laughing, even as tears seep out from his eyes as he cradles her. She holds onto him. He's real. How? Never mind how. It's Jesus.

He lifts her gently away from him, still smiling, brushing away her tears as her shock begins to turn to joy.

"Don't cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father." She laughs and cries in the joy of hearing his voice. He smiles. "But go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'" He brushes her hair behind her ear and nods for her to go. This news can't wait.

She runs again. 

Run. Can hardly think. Can't stop smiling. Laughing. Shouting. 

Through the door. Into the house. Up the stairs.

 "I have seen the Lord!"

Can you imagine having the privilege, shock, and joy of being the first to see Jesus risen from the dead? Jesus gave Mary the honor of being the first witness of the greatest event in eternity. And he made her the first apostle, the first one sent to preach the good news, when he told her to go and tell the disciples what she had seen. Why did he choose her? It was no coincidence. Jesus could have appeared to Peter and John when they were at the tomb, but he waited. He waited intentionally for Mary. I wonder why? Maybe because she was waiting as well. On Friday at the cross, she waited, praying he would not die. On Saturday, in despair, she waited for the Sabbath to pass so she could anoint his body in the tomb. And on Sunday, she waited in the confusion and emptiness of the tomb, not knowing what she was waiting for. But when he called her name, she knew.

But maybe Jesus also chose her because his kingdom is the upside-down kingdom, the kingdom that turns all earthly systems on their heads, the kingdom that makes the least the greatest. As a woman, and representing all women, Mary was one of the least valued people in her culture. But not to Jesus.

There is an ancient book called the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, which was written just after the other New Testament gospels like Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Archaeologists and researchers have found fragments of several copies of this gospel, which has led them to conclude that this writing was widespread among the early church. In it, Jesus has already ascended to heaven, and the disciples ask Mary to tell them what Jesus had taught her. I want to read to you the end of the book, after Mary has finished sharing the things Jesus had told her privately. Chapter 9 says:

1) When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her.

2) But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, Say what you wish to say about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.

3) Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things.

4) He questioned them about the Savior: Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?

5) Then Mary wept and said to Peter, My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I have thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?

6) Matthew answered and said to Peter, Peter you have always been hot tempered.

7) Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries.

8) But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well.

9) That is why He loved her more than us. Rather let us be ashamed and put on the perfect Man, and separate as He commanded us and preach the gospel, not laying down any other rule or other law beyond what the Savior said.

10) And when they heard this they began to go forth to proclaim and to preach.

I share Mary’s story with you in the hopes of showing you that your role in the kingdom and story of God is crucial not in spite of being a woman, but precisely because you are a woman. In all the ways that as women we may have felt secondary or less than, in those very places Jesus wants to show us His radical, upside-down love. Like Mary at the cross, may you be devoted to Jesus above all else. Like Mary at the tomb, may you wait for Jesus, even in the deepest pain, even when you don’t understand how good can come out of this. May you listen for Him to call your name. And when you have seen Him, embraced Him, and listened to Him speak, may you go boldly to tell your sisters and brothers that you, yourself, have seen the Lord.