living in limbo

These are not easy words, but I chose for this to be a year of openness. It felt appropriate to share in light of the suffering of this worldwide pandemic. Written September, 2019.

 

living in limbo 
waiting for the call 
that the end is near.

there’s always hope 
but it hurts so much 
when hope is dashed. 
resignation is tragically easy. 

sitting at the hospital bed 
watching the heart rate slow 
torn between desperate prayer 
and giving up. 

sometimes things die, 
there’s nothing I can do. 

prayer didn’t help last time 
or the time before. 

I’ve heard of spontaneous remission. 
and I’ve heard of resurrection. 
and I’ve heard of death and grief 
with nothing else. 

where do I find my faith 
when it’s the one 
fighting for life? 

is it fighting? 

my God, my God, 
do you care?