missing my faith

 

I’m missing my faith today. 

Not the nonsensical and manipulative parts, no. 

But I’m missing my earnest, pure faith. 

Missing the third dimension I used to always sense. 

Missing the all-things-work-together way of living. 

Missing the certainty, the assuredness; missing how permanent it all felt, even if it wasn’t. 

Missing the purpose behind heartbreak, the ever-hopeful search for light in darkness. 

Maybe it’s all still there, somewhere. Deep inside. 

Maybe if I stop to listen, I’ll still hear that still, small voice. 

I don’t want it all back, not how it was.  

But even so I miss it.