clearing out

I’m about to get married, cleaning out my room in my childhood home. Going through shoeboxes full of things I’ve kept over the years, deciding finally what will come with me into the rest of my life and to what I will bid farewell. 

I let go of

stacks of old worship song chord sheets 

newspaper cutouts of Shawn Johnson 

dozens of Voice of the Martyrs magazines 

John McCain campaign materials 

county fair ribbons 

a year’s subscription to Inside Gymnastics 

card after card from so many loving people 

school photo of my best friend when I was 5

sheets of Spanish homework 

I kept 

printed copies of my best friend’s stories 

years worth of notes from my neighbor 

my Nadia Comaneci leotard mom made 

clothes I made for my beanie babies 

language notebooks from China 

handkerchief from my TeenPact solid seven 

gymnastics board game I created 

the playbill from the Lion King 

an invitation to a horse club I tried to start 

dozens of letters from my sponsored child 

my chick-fil-a employee name tag 

shrinky-dink necklace given from a camper 

my childhood dog’s tag 

gymnastics ribbon from grammy 

my FSA I.D. card (if you know you know)

letter from the first person asking to date me

scrap of paper that says “I love you, love Dad”

So much of life, so many memories on pieces of paper and scraps of fabric. And all of it - whether I recycled it or kept it - comes with me in one way or another. Each pen stroke and printed page is a piece of who I am, who I have become. I may be clearing out my room, but I only keep filling up my self.