all i hope
a new entry in an on-going faith journal Easter of 2026, I am walking the Christian walk. I am teaching my children to memorize Scripture. I am in a women’s Bible study group. I am listening to Christian music while I make dinner, reading the Bible to the kids at lunch, walking through the practices of Easter Week with them, weeping still at the crucifixion. And still I don’t know that I believe it. My heart longs for it all, for the story, the power, the mystery, the joy, the victory. I still read the stories of the gospels and feel like I was there, feel like I know every character personally. Nate has found a new way to believe, and he is so excited by it. I am so happy for him, but I feel so many emotions toward his journey compared with mine. Jealousy, wondering why the arguments that compel him aren’t compelling me, feeling left behind and missing out on what I have known to be so beautiful before. I dig into the issue of evil and suffering, as...
